Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize