The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I'm sobbing to NWA
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
