i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
