dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
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