I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
