in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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