Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
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The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
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We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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