I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
