Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
