sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
