did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
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