my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize