Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize