I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
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He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
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second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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