So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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