I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
