Do you still have your period?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
