office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
