I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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