What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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