There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
