He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
