i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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