I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize