they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
