All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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