I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize