wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize