I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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