i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
