I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
