well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
