careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm really busy with my period
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