I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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