And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Alive.
So much puke
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
