what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
