i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i think i have two assholes
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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