Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
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i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
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My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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