Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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