Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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