I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
