last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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