Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
it's great music for shaving your balls
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Randomize