so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Randomize
