i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
