he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
