ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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