I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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