Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
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She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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