In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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