i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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