her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
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we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
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If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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