Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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