she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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