i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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