Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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