Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
